"Hi."
"Err... hello. Hi."
"Wont you ask me my name?"
I froze. For what I saw in front of me was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. A pretty girl with large twinkling eyes and long straight hair. Her smile radiated enthusiasm and happiness of a world beyond. A world I wanted to go.
There was no looking further than that. Other details curiously went unnoticed. Like the fact that she had started waving in front of my face.
"Err...what?! No thanks."
"Wow. Never met a guy like you. Can i ask you your name though?"
"Ohh yaa....yes. err.. my name is Aniket. Aniket Rathi."
"Hi Aniket. I am Aditi. Nice to meet you. Will catch around you later."
That conversation rang the whole day in my ears. I mean.... I am not that good with girls, being in a boys' school my whole life, and now I am in college. By the way, I am in IIT. As if thats something.
Err, .. I just conveniently forgot to mention her that !
whatever.
I have been a bookworm my entire life. I just loved books like hell. I was fascinated by aeroplanes and rockets. I marveled at their design. My Dad brought me great books from where he worked, from Malaysia. I eagerly waited for the 5 days he came every month.
"Aniket, how is everything going?"
"Hi dad. Ya fine, i am doing good."
"Did you see the new apartment we have bought?"
"Ya, its nice. But nothing compared to those buildings in malaysia you showed to me."
"Ohh .. that my son, is a different world. You will find new buildings and new people there. Listen Aniket. What would you do if someone punched your face?"
"Why would someone punch me?"
"Ohh.. there could be lots of reasons, dont worry about that. Lets say, he wants your tooth."
"In that case, it will be his tooth which will be in his hand."
"hehe.. Well said son. But are you sure? Say he agrees to anesthetize you and take a part of your tooth. What then? Will you fight him, risking all your teeth, or meekly give in to what he demands?"
"Come on, no way. The tooth is my property. He cant snatch or take it away from me."
My Dad is a drug-dealer. Worse still, he is a murderer and an assassin. In fact, he heads an underground gang in Malaysia. The Hindus there were being wronged excessively. My mom lost her parents in a police firing on a group of Hindu protesters demanding equal rights for themselves. Something the authorities didnt like in the least.
My dad realised that going by the law was of no use. So now he makes his own laws. The drugs give us money, through which we can do what we wish to.
I will join him, when I am ready. When I finish college.
My mom insisted on me taking good education, and since I liked science, I ended up here.
Here.
On the stairs of a mall.
Some friend of mine knew her.
Someone knew Aditi.
Well, now, I too know her, maybe.
College was an altogether different experience. I always kept to myself, like the individualistic kinda guy. That you get what you deserve.
But here everybody seems to be real friendly. We live together!, for God's sake.
I had no real friends before. None who knew me so closely. Close to the extent that they even knew what my father did for a living. He was a tourist contractor in malaysia. I had come to IIT since I wanted to become a rocket scientist.
Nothing farther from the truth.
But these were just a bunch of lies cooked up for their curiosity. The rest, which they knew for sure, was that I was not an introvert, and that I loved laughing, cracking jokes and partying. They knew that I loved justice and truth. They also knew that i loved debating, and that I loved somebody.
Truth is, this is what I am. But this is not what I would be three years later. I will be an introvert, who silently goes about his job, killing, pilfering, robbing. I will despise laughter, for I will laugh when I kill. I will destroy parties when i bust yet another drug-dealer for trying to double-cross us. Jokes will change definition to mindless blabber I will hear people making in their last moments.
Justice, ehh? Injustice will feed me. It will give me food for the mind, and the stomach. If it weren't for injustice, I might indeed have become a rocket scientist. Truth is something I will fear, something I will dislike. The truth that all this will serve no purpose, I will distort. I will distort it for my comfort. I will not dare to debate, for it may show me the truth. Love? I maybe wont even love myself then....
The other day, I went over to her place. She was tensed, for there were exams the next day. It was normal for all to get tensed for their exams. Not for me though. However, I felt that I may be able to comfort her. The least I wanted in the world was she being unhappy. I loved her. I loved her the way I would never love any other.
Maybe I didnt comfort her. She didnt have time to talk with me. She was too busy with her last-minute revision.
The next day I thought of calling her, but didnt thinking that she might be unhappy after the exam.
The next day I thought of calling her, but didnt thinking that she might be studying for the next paper.
The next day I thought of calling her, but didnt thinking that she might be busy with her last-minute revision.
The next day, her exams were over. I thought of calling her, but didnt thinking that she might be out partying.
The next day, I did call her. But no one picked up. Maybe busy. I still talked. She was the only one i wished to tell about myself, about why all this seemed a game to me. Coz the rest still thought that I wanted to become a rocket scientist...
Will I wish to live that way, 3 years from now? Yes. Live, i must. 'Cause everyone is here to live. Everyone faces problems, and has to overcome them in their own way, by their own efforts, isnt it? I dont want to be a loser.
Will I wish to live that way? I dont know. I dont like being a machine, following orders and doing things i dont want to.
Will I wish to live that way? No. I would be comitting a crime if i lived. I'll be friends with the scum of the world if i lived.
All this wont lead to anything, will it?
----------------------------
"Son, are you afraid of dying, of being killed?"
"No dad, I have lived my life. I have enjoyed every moment of it, short though it may seem."
"well said, son. Coz i dont think we have much of a chance here."
I and my dad alongwith other members of the gang were arrested at one of our secret hideouts, one of the safest. Someone had maybe tipped the police.
"Mr. Rathi, you are found guilty in several cases of murder, extortion, smuggling and drug-dealing. At the stroke of the hour, you will be hanged to death. May God have mercy on your soul."
As they were leading my dad out of the court,
"Son, they'll hang me. just dont expect a miracle. meet me in the cell after you are done."
"I know, Dad. Sure."
"Mr. Aniket rathi, you are found guilty in several cases of murder, extortion, smuggling and drug-dealing. However, since you have helped us in tracking and arresting your gang, the state will show mercy and give you a choice between execution and life imprisonment."
"No, my lord. I prefer to be hanged beside my Dad."
" so be it. At the stroke of the hour, you will be hanged to death. May God have mercy on your soul."
--------------------------------
"Son, do you believe in life after death?"
"no, dad"
"Well, i just hope i wont commit the same sins in my afterlife."
"No dad , you did nothing wrong. You did what you felt right. And so did I. In a tiny corner of my head, i never wished to live this way, wished that i would be as i was in college. But i conveniently ignored that thought. I hoped that one day we would stop living like this. But, we didnt have to do that. The police did it for us."
"yeah,maybe."
----------------------------
Then, I closed my eyes. Heard the crowd cheering and jeering. Heard the priest recite the last rites.
But all I saw was her. I just hoped she was fine, and not like me. I could never make her happy, but I hoped that she was happy anyway. I was happy just by the thought of her. I smiled ... and never saw the light of the day again.
